Tuesday, 25 August 2009

My own heaven and hell

I don't believe in God, but whether there is an afterlife or not, I don't know. I certainly don't believe in Heaven or the Elysian fields after we die. You find out when your time comes. I have big doubts myself. Some say that we have our heaven and hell on earth. Whilst I wouldn't 100% subscribe to that view, I can't help but feel that there is more than a ring of truth about it.

My idea of heaven on earth is made up of several situations that I have been in, as is my idea of hell on earth. Amongst my "Heaven on Earth" situations are....
(A) Myself being alone in a massive public library all day, reading numerous books
on subject or topics which interest me.
(B) Myself looking through a huge archive of weather records with the actual
weather written in for the day, along with the details such as temperature,
sunshine, rainfall and wind direction etc.
(C) Being at a place of vast interest and where there is plenty to see and do,
such as Cambridge or York. Similarly, such holiday resorts like either Rome,
(I have never been though), with the history and architecture, or Orlando (I have
been there - twice, with my family).
(D) Being sat alone using the Internet without being disturbed or pestered. The
Internet is definitely addictive in my opinion. There is a danger in life I
could end up being two things. One, an Internet addict, and two, a recluse.
I have to fight very hard against both.
(E) Being in the open air, or places with dramatic landscapes, such as the
Yorkshire Dales, Lake District and Snowdon, though I gave that hobby up over
ten years ago, with clear weather.
(F) Although I am (1) A genuine, natural loner, (2) Deep down, quite a shy man,
(Though I try very hard not to be), (3) I could end up being a recluse,
(4) I don't have that many real friends and (5) I don't make friends easily
with people, another heaven situation is being in company where it is a
free-flowing, serious, mentally stimulating conversation, and everyone
is respecting each others views. I like being alone two-thirds of the time. The
other third I like company. At times I feel sociable, and other times I don't
care if I neither see or speak to anyone. That is me.
(G) Watching DVD's of programmes, documentaries or sitcoms which interest me.

Hell situations for me are:
(A) Having to interact with loads of people at once. I hate such situations. They
mentally overload me, and when I have come away from those kind of events, I
feel drained and exhausted. I avoid them.
(B) Being accused of something I haven't done falsely or something I am not. If I
have done wrong in the past, or do in the present, and am caught for it, I
will admit it, and take my punishment. However, I will never admit to something
I haven't done or said, whether it is now or occurred years ago.
(C) Being late for anything, and others being late for something without telling me
or without good reason.
(D) Being bored stupid. This applies whether it is talking to or listening to a dull,
uninteresting person, or spending two weeks at a boring holiday resort in the UK
such as Rhyll or Bridlington. I find it hard to excel at, or be motivated at, a
subject which doesn't interest me than when I enjoy, or excel at a subject.
(E) Being poor, although I am not an over materialistic person.
(F) Doing a job I can't stand, and working with/or for people I don't like or get on
with, or one with too many people around me, or in a noisy environment.
(G) Being in trapped in a relationship that isn't working, or being dominated.

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